There are moments in a girl's life that can change her path in life - sometimes for the better and sometimes these crucial moments set her off course down a darker path. Girls - little girls and fully grown up girls, can become very emotional in the way they relate to a situation, particularly when they are in fear, feel hurt or if the situation is not going so well. Girls say it how it is and they haven't always learned to filter what they say.
Whilst it's important to raise confident girls who know their own mind and are able to articulate their thoughts and feelings, it's also important to raise girls to press the pause button at times before they verbalise those thoughts and feelings to help them create a healthy path for the future. There can be a lot of merit in taking a few extra moments or minutes to process a situation, observe it from another angle or simply to let the heated energy dissipate a little before we act or speak out.
Here's 3 Ideas to guide your girls to be mindful of the way they relate to others and the way they relate to themselves.
1. Thought Process
Each week, ask your daughters to share an incident at school or in general where something didn't go the way they had hoped. For example, it could have been a disagreement with a friend, a friend saying or doing something that upset them or a teacher not giving them the praise they had hoped for. Take a few minutes to allow your daughter to fully express herself and the situation. Don't edit her, just listen. It can take a while to formulate our thoughts, yet part of the healing process from an internal or external conflict situation can be simply to get it off our chest.
2. Download Diary
Encourage your girls to keep a diary where they can download. It's their own private journal that they can process positive and negative experiences. They can also use this diary logging as quiet reflection time to observe the situation without the stress of being in the situation with the person/s in the conflicting situation. The fear is removed and therefore they are less constricted and more open to discover their own wisdom and life lessons from observing the experience from a healthy distance.
3. Take 2
Everyone has moments in their life they would change given the opportunity. If you can encourage your daughters to treat life a little like the adventures of a making a movie where the characters are given another shot to try the scene again, perhaps a little better than the last, then you are also teaching your daughters the life skill of having another go in life. We don't get life right all the time but we really only learn to get better at life and the conversations and moments we have in life, when we are given another shot to try again.